I sit by the mirror.


Today is my wedding..

I am sitting by the mirror watching myself getting transformed from a plane Jane to a beautiful damsel for a day, for the best day of my life.
Hours passed I am sitting by the mirror watching the new me. Everyone is praising me for the way I look. I smile in reply but when I look back at myself I am only wondering about the look in his eyes, the words from his mouth on seeing me. The anticipation is too great.
Hours passed I sit by the mirror fidgeting with my jewellery, my lehenga. Everything is in place but my heart is not. I give up n rest my hands on my heart. It is restless and yet at peace. He is finally here, I can feel him. My wait is finally over. I am going to be his.

“Dheere dheere machal ae dil-e-bekarar koi ata hai
Yun tadap ke na tadpa mujhe baar baar koi ata hai
Uski daaman ki Khushboo hawaon mein hai.
Uske kadmon ki aahat fizaaon mein hai.
Mujh ko karne De karne De solha singaar.
Koi ata hai.
Dheere dheere machal ae dil-e-bekarar”

Its still early hours, I can sleep some more yet sleep eludes me and I am sitting by the mirror. I watch myself after a week, expecting to look like a haggard but surprised to look fresh and beautiful. I look at myself closely, n a smile creeps in, an excitement, a happiness bubbles in me. Today he is returning from a week long tour. He will not return until night , but tonight I will not be sleeping alone. I will have him beside me loving me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear while he makes me his again. I look at the empty bed, I look at myself again in the mirror. I find myself blushing remembering him.

I am sitting by the mirror after a day long preparation to celebrate his return.
I have made his favourite dishes, I have worn the saree he got me on our first anniversary. I have become the way he wants to see me, the way he likes me.
I have transformed myself for him. I have left what ever he dislikes and have adapted all what he likes.
Minutes passed I am still sitting by the mirror waiting for the bell to ring. He did not allow me to pick him up from the airport. His final words over the phone a while ago were “I will be there in few mins. Can’t wait to be home”
I sit by the mirror and I see the days that have passed with him. We have been married for ten years. I cannot have kids. But I don’t feel incomplete. He completes me. he has filled my life with songs of love, my heart sings only his name, my dreams are now full of him, my future is him.
My heart is beating fast, I know he has come and once again I am going to be his again.

“Dheere dheere machal ae dil-e-bekarar koi ata hai
Yun tadap ke na tadpa mujhe baar baar koi ata hai
Mujh ko chhune lagi uski parchaiyan.
Dil ke nazdeek bajti hain shehnaiyan.
Mere sapanon ke aangan mein gata hain pyaar
Koi ata hai..
Dheere dheere machal ae-dil-bekarar koi ata hai”

I am slow, I am old, I walk slowly to my dresser and I sit by the mirror.
I see deep brown eyes, I see dark circles in them, I see wrinkles on the face. I try to find sorrow but my eyes are twinkling with happiness after many days. I feel the same excitement today.. I look at the mirror n reflect on the days passed n I clearly remember only good days. I pick up my Kajal and apply on my eyes. He has always loved my eyes.. He loves Kajal in them. I pick up the red lipstick, its the only color he likes on my lips. I am wearing a pink salwar, that’s the only color I have been wearing since days. He likes me in pink. I am finally going to meet him. Its been ten days he has left me alone again. I can’t stay away from him anymore. He calls me, he too can’t stay away from me. He is waiting for me like I am waiting for him, I have waited for him. I sit by the mirror n look . I look bful once again. I can see him with extended arms asking me to hold it. I have decided not to talk to him, i will throw some tantrums, i will get angry only to be coaxed by him again, only to see him happy after he sees a smile on my face. I will fight for leaving me alone only to have him recite poems to me n then i will hug him. I cannot stay angry at him for long. I get up . I am going to sleep now and dream of him tonite n tomorrow I am going to be his again. Once again forever and ever and ever.

“Dheere dheere machal ae dil-e-bekarar koi ata hai
Yun tadap ke tadpa mujhe baar baar koi ata hai
Rooth ke pehele jee bhar sataungi main Jab manayenge wo maan jaungi main Dil pe rahataa hain ayese mein kab ikhtiyaar
Koi ata hai.
Dheere dheere machal ae dil-e-bekarar.”


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