What is love anyways?
What is marriage?
What is infdelity?
Who has ever been sure of the nature of it?
What looks like love from the outside is not the same inside and how many times do we really know what is going in the inside unless otherwise told by the people involved in that coupling or by some gossip monger relative.
Well for once i am sure that the books i have been reading since childhood is nothing but a farce, nothing more than a way of meddling with brains of sensitive young foolish teenage girls like me who stick to every word the book has to say, who has spent half her life day dreaming about her prince charming but you know what, all that is just a lie.
A lie that love makes you forgive anyone and that the man who loves you will come back to you no matter what you do, but you know what they don’t.
They really don’t, even after everything you do or you don’t, they don’t come back and it sucks.
Yes i know it sucks.
Sucks big time because when things don’t turn out as the 160 plus pages book say, in comes the reality check and then with it comes a severe bout of depression which hurts more than the love that has gone away from you, because then the pain is of self realization, of self loathing and this pain nearly clogs your heart and lungs giving you a major acidity problem.
Well you see tears comes later when you don’t even know whether they are for the lost love or over yourself?
Then comes the anger over life, over men in general, over every other person in love, over Lord who becomes the main target of all our hatred who we curse, say bad things, stop praying and challenge.
And the cycle repeats after the few months unless one day we really wake up and realize that the problem is the books not the Lord, not the men we date, not the love we give or get but what we have imagined it to be, what we have fantasized all our lives.
The end result is some one like me who ends up writing about it in her blog.
The real problem lies in the web of these books, which makes every man as Adonis re incarnated himself and every woman as Aphrodite herself.
Well i am no where near Aphrodite, hell i don’t even know how she looked but what ever sculptures i have seen of that woman, i have definitely come to a conclusion that i am no where near to her in any way.
Neither the men i have dated even come close to the men i have read in books.
Well do they even exist or just present between our ears? And all the crap about the so called amazing sultry Sex that these protagonists seem to have?
Well, i have interviewed many married friends of mine over recent years and guess what, not one told me anything good and amazing about it and no they cant do it again and again, over and over all night.
It is just not possible.
I don’t know what the Men and Women in the books eat to actually mate like bunnies.
Reality Check – Sex is tiring, sometimes gross, painful, unpredictable and not always satisfactory.
One thing that also strikes me is that why none of the books goes into the details after marriage, the problems with the members of the family of the man the female marries, the fights, the day to day problems.
Half the men are portrayed as larger than life characters who have amass of money and who actually have nothing else to do but travel in their Limousine, wear their best suit, throw sultry looks at the women he is secretly in love with and mishandling her.
The other half have a profession but they too act like Neanderthals around their so called love interests.
If i say so about women in the books, they appall me allowing men to behave like rouges and still telling herself she is in love with him. Farce!!
More so they are always either too stupid to realize a bluff and end up being in odd situations which the Man lands her in.
The only soothing feature about these books are their locations description and sometimes the supporting characters are hilarious and more humane to be believable.
But then i have also wondered, why the books don’t include the love stories of these supposedly real human characters, why always side step them throwing them in the backdrop.
I don’t suppose all of them are living a miserable life.
You see, humans don’t sell. What sells is gloss. What sells is Adam & Eve.
In our pursuit of these perfect characters we have ignored reality and hurt people who actually know what love is. We have embraced these best sellers to ignore those who really open you up to a land of new possibilities.
“Love” as we call it is much broader aspect and its much more fundamental than love between a man and woman.
One of my friend says, love between a man and woman is nothing but a cruel play of hormones, those which ooze for one person one day and other the next day, and if they vanquish, they are not even replaced and no medicine can bring them back, not even Viagra and what is left is nothing but a habit.
A comfort zone, a companion on whom we rely too much to let go.
Well, if this is to happen after many years then why can not we develop one right from the beginning.
We are all animals and so we mate when the time comes.
Yet we all live in this falsification that wait until marriage.
I wont go into the divorce rates statistics, but i would emphasize on the fact that its OK to be absolutely satisfying your carnal instincts before marriage.
There is absolutely nothing wrong in it, what is wrong is to live a miserable life hoping for a fairy tale to take place.
Instead of going for Adonis, lets try settling for the ones who are normal, those who can really show us the true meaning of companionship.
Well we humans are weird. When we are in a relationship with someone, we doubt our partners, their reactions, we expect them to love us like we want them to love us.
Is this love?
Is this really love?
Where is the freedom?
Where is the patience?
Where is the understanding?
We miss most of them in our relationship and then we claim we are in love.
Let them be the way they want to be, why are we so scared of being the person who loves the most? Why cant we give when love is all about giving?
Why not be present in the moment when we make love? Why think about it going wrong?Why worry whether it will be satisfactory or not? Why fantasize Sex?
Let us love ourselves to know the difference between reality and fantasy. Let stop doubting others and start thinking about being the perfect love we want.
Lets seek within to get it in the without.
Love is the raw emotion, the “Brahma” from which everything comes and into which everything succumbs.
Rise, get out of fantasies and lets see that Love, with capital “L” is there , really there and let us stop judging all by the standards of the book but through eyes of our heart.
Throw those books away and encompass the lessons life is wanting to teach us about love.
Embrace it, feel it, live it, dream it and desire it.
Release the farce that is the “Love Books”.